Double Wedding

Two Sundays ago, we had the opportunity to attend worship at the Sokoine Lutheran Church—one of our Maasai congregations in the Morogoro Diocese. This particular Sunday was not just any ordinary Sunday however, as the worship service on this day included two weddings. This is not totally out of the ordinary here in Tanzania—to celebrate weddings within the order of worship on a Sunday morning. In my opinion, it’s not a bad idea either. Once you get past the extended length of the worship service (about four hours), you see how the weddings are important to the community of faith as much as the community is important to the families of the bride and groom. Also, the hopeful and perhaps vulnerable nature of people when they are tying the knot, when you think about it, lends itself well to the prayer life of church. For, when else do we make such a profound leap of faith without truly knowing what the future will hold in store for us, than at a wedding? From my perspective, having this ceremony as part of the worship service—where we honor God, who gives us life, guidance and promise of security/salvation—just before the prayers of the church—makes total sense.

Another interesting thing that we have noticed about Tanzanian weddings is the demeanor of the brides. At all three of the weddings that we have been to this year, we have noticed how the brides (and to a lesser extent the grooms) have remained stoic (even showing obvious sadness) during the wedding. At this wedding we asked the best man to explain why the brides were so sad looking, staring at the floor and even sniffling during the vows, while the rest of the people surrounding them were in a jovial, joyous, celebratory mood. He explained that it was customary for brides to respect their family of origin in this way. The wedding marks the brides exit from her parents’ household and arrival in the new home she will make with her husband. It would be disrespectful to show too much joy about leaving someone who has taken care of you since birth.

So, while in America it seems natural for the bride and groom to be happy on their wedding day, in Tanzania it is exactly the opposite. The people assured us that although these couples displayed their sadness, it did not mean that they were sad about the marriage. Just like in America, weddings everywhere are events full of a myriad of complex emotions. Today we thank God for the blessing of family and pray for these newlyweds as they begin their lives together.